The Real Writing Process

That's right, the real writing process! The truth comes out. We all knew it, but no one actually set it in stone, so I'll be the first to outline our "stupid/foolish" dorkiness.

1. Procrastination. DO NOT start your paper early! Now, I have to admit I am also a geeky dork and do, indeed, start my essays fairly early, go and talk to my professors about my thesis, and do my research in advance. But that does not mean I do not find time to procrastinate. Oh no, it just means I think I can leave the actual writing of my paper to the very last minute. As a matter of fact, I am procrastinating right now, by writing this blog. Examples of procrastination include, but are not limited to: watching movies, talking to friends, Facebooking, reconnecting with long-lost high-school buds, calling home to see what your mom's up to, going for a walk, making food, and then realising by some chance of luck you have a cake mix! That must be made and eaten. The whole thing. Clearly I do it. Just look at the pic. Attack the whole thing with a fork! So, once you're full of cakey-goodness you can move onto stage 2.

2. Cleaning. This could have been grouped under procrastination, but it usually happens after other forms of delay, and is even more wide-spread than Facebooking, believe it or not (Note: no actual studies were done to prove any stats in this report). This is a good step, because it helps wear off the cake! Perfect transition.

3. Purchase of Red Bull. Now that you're full and your entire apartment or house, including the tops of the baseboard heaters, are spotless, you're ready to get down to business! But wait! You know you're probably going to be up late tonight, and the store closes in an hour! So clearly you must walk there because the bus is too boring. It may take more time, but it also helps wear off the cake, yet again.

4. Shower. After walking all the way to the store and back, and doing all that cleaning, you're feeling a little sweaty. No one likes to feel sticky when they're writing! A shower is in order, obviously.

5. Snack. It's been so long since you ate that cake that you're craving a little nibble. Time to make NACHOS! Or something similar. Sure you could eat them while you work on that paper, but better not take the chance of getting salsa on your keyboard or those valuable library books that you forgot to take out! That would be absolutely tragic!

6. Dishes. Don't want the ants to come or something! Nachos are their favourite! Better do the dishes!

7. Change. You can't write an essay in jeans! Better change into those pj's or track pants, which you will be wearing to class tomorrow too when you hand in your paper because you haven't slept and didn't even have time to change again before running to catch the last bus!

8. Lock yourself in your room with papers sprawled all around you and write write write write like crazy when you're hopped up on caffeine!!! Self-explanatory.

Alright, that's it. I should probably get back to my own essay, which has yet to be started. Or maybe I should make myself a gluten-free cake! Appetizing.

[Photo of author; no license infringement]

Weather Dorks

In this installment of embracing your inner dork, I wish to explore the "stupid/foolish" aspect of "dorkism". My best example can be summed up in North Bay's weather paradox.

It's mornings like today, when I wake up and look out my window to see the weather, that my mind likes to play tricks on me. This might be because I live in a basement apartment and my window actually faces another wall and has overhead shelter, but I can never know for sure what the weather is going to be like. We would assume that since it's JANUARY, it should be bitter cold, snow blowing in blizzards, etc. But this past week didn't start out that way. It started out fairly warm, and people wore leggings to school (myself included - don't pass up a chance to wear out-of-season clothes when they're out of season! Especially if it means you can avoid wearing clonky winter boots! Sacrifice for fashion, people!). Then came the rain. RAIN! In January! The fact that the public bus system always makes it up the hill even in the freezing rain we had this week is a testament to our dedication as students, even if we have nothing to do with the bus system really.

And then suddenly it's Thursday, -17 degress, windy, squally, and just plain COLD. Then the complaining begins. Yes, fellow Nipissingites. I am guilty of it too. We are all dorks. We all complain about how cold it is, how windy it is, how we wish we could be at home in the warmth of our beds, or even in the library, because all NipU students know that is the warmest place to be in the building, aside from forming a group huddle. But the irony is that we knew what North Bay was like before we moved here. A lot of us come from the South, and we made a conscious decision to move north. What did we think was going to happen? Obviously NORTH Bay isn't going to be Florida.

Maybe we thought we would be able to sit beside fire places when we didn't have class, at home under a blanket, creating a cabin-like atmosphere but keeping our cultured tastes and conveniences, like running water. Well, I think we all can agree that houses with fire-places are not quite within the price range of most student budgets. Heat is extra in my apartment, and I am willing to admit that I have sat in my living room in my snowpants. It's been known to happen. But we all have to admit, there's nothing like the picturesque landscape surrounding our university when it is covered in fresh-fallen snow. What other university can claim to have as beautiful a scene as our pond in winter, with the trees backing the montage? Or this picture of the road right in front of the university?

So, my fellow students, I have a solution! It's a simple one, that will allow us to enjoy the beauty of North Bay in person, and keep us warm at the university! If you're one prone to being cold in class, take a snuggie, the blanket with arms! You can write notes, stay warm, and even eat snacks while wearing them without ruining your clothes in case of a spill! How will you get these to the university? Well, that's the easy part! If you wear it backwards it doubles as a cloak. So you can pretend you're in Harry Potter and stay warm on the way to class too!

[Photo by author; no license infringement]

The Origin of the Name

In technical terms, the history and evolution of a word is called "eptymology," which any English student learns from using the OED (which is the Online Oxford Dictionary, for those non-Englishites), a.k.a. the English students' definition bible. Now, I could go through and tell you the origins of the word "embrace", "inner", and "dork", but I am not planning on ENTIRELY boring my readers, but instead I intend to provide my fellow Nipissing students with some nerdy tidbits that float through the Nipissing halls and dorky experiences we can all relate to because, as my "about me" states, we are all dorks and it is my goal to help you accept this fact.

Now, the term "dork" has undergone much backlash in the recent past. That's right. I hear it used as an insult throughout the halls. I hear "OMG you're such a DORK!" To me, this term has recently become associated with "geeks" and the like. It's interesting, considering the term actually means quite the opposite; by its definition, "dork" refers to people who are seen as foolish or stupid. Slightly paradoxical, I would say. Nonetheless, quite amusing.

Whether you are a dork or a geek, or would rather just deem yourself a 'normal' person, or even 'POPULAR', we all have our dorky moments, and this is the first of blogs to start documenting those at Nipissing. Enjoy! And embrace your inner dork!