That's right, the real writing process! The truth comes out. We all knew it, but no one actually set it in stone, so I'll be the first to outline our "stupid/foolish" dorkiness.
1. Procrastination. DO NOT start your paper early! Now, I have to admit I am also a geeky dork and do, indeed, start my essays fairly early, go and talk to my professo
rs about my thesis, and do my research in advance. But that does not mean I do not find time to procrastinate. Oh no, it just means I think I can leave the actual writing of my paper to the very last minute. As a matter of fact, I am procrastinating right now, by writing this blog. Examples of procrastination include, but are not limited to: watching movies, talking to friends, Facebooking, reconnecting with long-lost high-school buds, calling home to see what your mom's up to, going for a walk, making food, and then realising by some chance of luck you have a cake mix! That must be made and eaten. The whole thing. Clearly I do it. Just look at the pic. Attack the whole thing with a fork! So, once you're full of cakey-goodness you can move onto stage 2.
rs about my thesis, and do my research in advance. But that does not mean I do not find time to procrastinate. Oh no, it just means I think I can leave the actual writing of my paper to the very last minute. As a matter of fact, I am procrastinating right now, by writing this blog. Examples of procrastination include, but are not limited to: watching movies, talking to friends, Facebooking, reconnecting with long-lost high-school buds, calling home to see what your mom's up to, going for a walk, making food, and then realising by some chance of luck you have a cake mix! That must be made and eaten. The whole thing. Clearly I do it. Just look at the pic. Attack the whole thing with a fork! So, once you're full of cakey-goodness you can move onto stage 2.
2. Cleaning. This could have been grouped under procrastination, but it usually happens after other forms of delay, and is even more wide-spread than Facebooking, believe it or not (Note: no actual studies were done to prove any stats in this report). This is a good step, because it helps wear off the cake! Perfect transition.
3. Purchase of Red Bull. Now that you're full and your entire apartment or house, including the tops of the baseboard heaters, are spotless, you're ready to get down to business! But wait! You know you're probably going to be up late tonight, and the store closes in an hour! So clearly you must walk there because the bus is too boring. It may take more time, but it also helps wear off the cake, yet again.
4. Shower. After walking all the way to the store and back, and doing all that cleaning, you're feeling a little sweaty. No one likes to feel sticky when they're writing! A shower is in order, obviously.
5. Snack. It's been so long since you ate that cake that you're craving a little nibble. Time to make NACHOS! Or something similar. Sure you could eat them while you work on that paper, but better not take the chance of getting salsa on your keyboard or those valuable library books that you forgot to take out! That would be absolutely tragic!
6. Dishes. Don't want the ants to come or something! Nachos are their favourite! Better do the dishes!
7. Change. You can't write an essay in jeans! Better change into those pj's or track pants, which you will be wearing to class tomorrow too when you hand in your paper because you haven't slept and didn't even have time to change again before running to catch the last bus!
8. Lock yourself in your room with papers sprawled all around you and write write write write like crazy when you're hopped up on caffeine!!! Self-explanatory.
Alright, that's it. I should probably get back to my own essay, which has yet to be started. Or maybe I should make myself a gluten-free cake! Appetizing.
[Photo of author; no license infringement]
[Photo of author; no license infringement]
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